She stopped in her still wobbly tracks, plopped down on her butt in the middle of the sidewalk her face full of awe, intent on what she saw.
It was an ant hill, a big one, swarming with hundreds of very busy ants intent on making it even bigger.
I sat down beside her, every bit as fascinated as she was. I couldn't remember ever noticing ant hills like this ever before in my 41 years. What absolutely amazing little creatures, so full of energy and determined purpose, each one of them knowing exactly where to place their grain of sand, then quickly scurrying off to get another, then another. It made her giggle with delight, which made me giggle too, which was another new experience for me. My life to that point had not given me much time or reason to giggle about anything.
From there on, this little girl took me by the hand, and taught me everything I'd missed about having a normal childhood. Through the eyes of this unexpected little grandchild, through her sense of wonder and awe, I discovered a whole new world I had no memory of ever seeing before.
Together we discovered amazing things, like no two blades of grass are ever the same! How can there BE so many different kids of blades of grass?! We learned how to sit and stare at the bark on the oak trees long enough to see the teensy tiny creatures that lived deep in the crevices.
We went on long walks, and learned how to tell if a tree was happy or sad, and we made sure to give the sad ones hugs. We discovered the fun of watching how other people reacted, like that policeman who waited at the end of the block till we got there, to make sure she was safe and I wasn't some crazy person leading a little one astray! I love how she proudly answered his question about what we were doing with "Well, we're hugging TREES!" and I loved how his face softened into a smile.
Then there was the challenge over how we could get away from her Mom so we could go walking in the rain. We crept out with our umbrella and ran down the street when she wasn't looking, yelling "We're SINGING IN THE RAIN!", and then the tree branch STOLE OUR UMBRELLA! There it was, swinging from the tree, and there we were getting soaked to the skin and laughing so hard we almost fell over.
(And oh my, were we in trouble with Mama!)
One other rainy day we ended up downtown Mpls at the lunch hour on a business day. Business people were rushing here and there, most had umbrellas, but we forgot ours and got very wet. I don't remember which one of us said.."Hey! Let's pretend we're DUCKS!" so off we went, arms flapping, quacking loudly, just to see what people would do. Such fun! Some just made a wide circle around us. A few smiled a little. Then came the best part, the two very dignified older men in business suits who didn't even smile, but just began quacking right back at us!
Every laugh we shared, every silly thing we did together, every new discovery we shared, felt like life itself being breathed back into a nearly dead soul.
So it was that a little child did lead me back from the brink of self selected oblivion, into a brand new sober life that has been so full of wonders I'd never have known without her. Now a powerful professional woman, working hard to preserve this beautiful earth we discovered together, she represents the hope for us all.
Quack Quack, and thank you, my Dearest Little One!