I nearly drove myself insane today trying to act hip enough to navigate the new site. Ended up hunched over this keyboard sweating profusely, with the kind of headache I know means my BP is going up, when a wiser voice from within asked, "What in the hell are you DOING, driving yourself batty over a website?!"
I turned off the computer just in time to hear the delightful sound of my cat hawking up a hairball.
Oh, swell. She sat nearby, calmly supervising my clean up performance, gave a big wide yawn and settled her considerable bulk into my lap. Now this cat can purr like none other I've known: her whole body vibrates, and I love how contagious her contentment is. Already I felt better.
Ono shared how much it helps her too, to tend to small physical tasks like taking out the garbage and cleaning the toilet, so I bagged up the garbage, imagining that I could stuff all the stress in the bag and dump it right down the chute. By now my headache was almost gone.
How easily we can forget to engage the power we have, to determine how we feel: I know I forget this on a regular basis. I don't have to master DK4 today, or tomorrow, or ever, for that matter, and the world will keep on rotating, I will keep on living, and my cat will hawk up hairballs till the day she dies.
I will remain a Cranky User of modern technology forever. It's truly a love/hate relationship. I cannot imagine life without an internet connection to the whole wide world, and I would genuinely miss so many people here if I gave up on DK4. I just need to accept that any big change is always going be hard for me to grasp, and will take considerable time.
I need to recognize and accept that I will want to gripe, bitch, piss and moan and look around from someone to blame for my discomfort, because I am merely an old and cranky curmudgeon and that's just how it is. I found a safe place here, with other Cranks, (Thank you Kelly!) where griping, bitching, pissing and moaning is allowed, so that's all good too. I need to remember to balance out the stressful online stuff with the simple physical activities of living.
I am also aware that if the cyber-gremlins steal and eat this diary too, all of the above wisdom and calm will disappear instantaneously and I will morph back into my bitching, griping, pissing and moaning cranky self! And that's OK, too, because there will always be more hairballs and toilets and garbage.